i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
