wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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