He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's shark week go big or go home
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
