we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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