You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
