Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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