So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
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You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
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People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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