She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
