your parents love me but you hate me
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
