so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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