You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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