wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
