Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
