jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
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