So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
