It's just like the Real World with babies
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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