Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
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