You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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