so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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