You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
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i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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