dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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