you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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