wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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