I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
