What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize