My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Michael Bay diarrhea
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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