Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
