just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
