Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
