Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
