Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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