hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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