Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Randomize
