i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize