you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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