from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
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We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
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It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He? As in you personified your dick?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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