I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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