I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
