He disabled his match.com account in front of me
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
