She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
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Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
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You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So here I am, sexting at work.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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