Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
my poor anus
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
