I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize