singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
