i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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