Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
