I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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