Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
