How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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