Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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