Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
