I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
im holly from the hills drunk
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
