normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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