I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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