i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
