3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
there is glitter all over my balls
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