I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
