maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
